420 ftw
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
