you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
