I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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