I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
