yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
