your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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