Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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