there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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