I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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