his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am midnight drunk by noon
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
