So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
