i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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