Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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