You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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