look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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