We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
