hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
