I looked at my own cervix.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Are we still banned from the library?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
