i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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