I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
