No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
