I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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