Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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