We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
