Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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