I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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