let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
