the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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