I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
