So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize