you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
