I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
