Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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