THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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