check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
