doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
