oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just pee around me
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.