watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions