Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You took a bar mat shot.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.