Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.