white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
