i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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