the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
