does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
