I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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