i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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