i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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