I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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