Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
