Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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