Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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