How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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