I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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