You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize