No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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