oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
