I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
